Four months ago

...I found myself suddenly single…Suddenly.
Starting over, at the mid century mark. Who would have thought? Certainly not me. Now, all that is left is for the lawyers to finish up dividing what took more than 30  years to grow and by spring we will live separate lives completely.
I have learned a lot in the last four months. That people who say they will love you forever may not, that things simply are not always what they seem, that life can be more painful and sad, and confusing than I ever imagined.
On the other end of the spectrum I have discovered that people you didn’t even realize were your friends actually care quite a great deal about you, that what really matters in life are people not things (I already knew this, but it was wonderful to have it confirmed) that there is power in prayer and faith, and I have discovered that it can also be kind of exhilarating (scary as hell, yes, but exciting and freeing at the same time) to be able to make all your own decisions and choices. All. By. Yourself.
I am grateful for so many things. My spectacular kids, my beloved dogs, my dear friends. A hot  bath each night, and the feeling I get inside every time I realize that I have made it though another day, feeling just a teensy bit better than I was the day before.
I am not sure why I am sharing this with you, except…I think of you as friends of sorts, and if you’ve wondered if I have fallen off the face of the earth…well, yes, I did, for a wee bit of time, but I am going to be fine (actually I plan on being better than fine at some point soon) and I would like you to know that I have missed all of you out there in Bloggyland. I am glad to be back.