On false eyelashes, specifically.
You might be wondering why a woman waits until she is closing in on sixty to try false eyelashes. Well, I am not entirely sure, as I have considered them in the past, and actually even purchased some once, after a very pretty young Sephora salesgirl wearing false eyelashes told me not to waste my money on spendy lashes, but to get them at Walmart. I scampered directly over to Walmart as soon as I left Sephora, and then proceeded to wait for the "right" time to try them out. As we all know, the "right" time never comes for anything in life, and time passed without me ever trying them out, and finally I tossed them in the bathroom wastebasket during one of my what-the-heck-was-I-thinking-buying-these?! moments.
I later tried (and had an epic failure) the individual lashes put on by a professional, because my daughter had done it,and they. looked. aah-mazing. on. her. They failed for several reasons. First of all, they were quite spendy. (Seriously, the price took my breath away momentarily.) Second, no one, and I mean no one, noticed my longer lashes for some reason. Lastly, the permanent glue bugged my eyeballs, and they watered non-stop, so that a week later I was down to about 6 long lashes, total, between two eyes.
I took this as a sign from God that I was not meant to have the professionally installed (Applied?) lashes.
Time passed, and the momentary need for full, long, lush lashes was a distant memory, until two days before my recent vacation to Hawaii, when I was in Old Navy, and everything in the store was half off, because they were closing. There, by the registers, in the buy-this-stuff-on-an-impulse section, were little false eyelash kits, including lashes and glue. I grabbed two kits, thinking this might be a fun (if only to look back later and laugh at) moment (and memory) for my best-friend-since-fifth-grade and I to do one evening after dinner and cocktails.
(I realize the absurdity of my idea now, as I typed it out, but it sounded like an incredibly fun girlfriend-moment at the time.)
When I presented my let's-make-a-memory moment to my bestie, she laughed and informed me that she had skimpy lashes, and in fact stated that she thought she had five lashes total, and she was not about to risk losing any of the five to an eyelash-glue-gone-wrong incident, but assured me that I was free to have at it.
Game on, sista.
As I attempted to follow the directions on the glue package, I remembered just how bad my eyesight is these days.
(Oh the joys of becoming a more mature woman.)
I also realized at this moment that to do this job properly, I would need (desperately) my 9X magnifier mirror that I use each day at home to put on my make up. (And, it was back at home, on the mainland.)
Undaunted, I was determined to forge ahead, with my friend helping me much like a kid in the swimming pool playing Marco Polo. ( Higher..higher...to the left... a little more...to the right...oh, Gawd, no!....way off.....) followed by a burst of uncontrollable laughter.
(Okay, even I am laughing at the ridiculousness of this now.)
Finally, I threw away the two crumpled, unsalvageable lashes, slapped on some mascara, and went on about vacationing, focusing on much more important things, like hula pie.
Yesterday, when I was organizing some of my cosmetics, I spied with my little short-eye-lashed-eyes, the remaining pieces of the Old Navy eyelash kits. I was home alone, with my 9X mirror (conveniently located right there by my arsenal of make up) and thought it might be the perfect time for an encore attempt in the privacy of my own home.
Some twenty five minutes and one empty glue container later, I had manged to totally ruin one false eyelash, (I had decided trimming it with scissors might help at one point....it didn't.) and I had no eyeshadow left on my right eye.
That brings me to today's post, and the advice I am seeking.
I googled up False Eyelash Tips on Pinterest, and I found some pretty good looking tutorials on there. (Why didn't I do that before wasting nearly a half hour of my life today that I will never get back?)
Have you tried false eyelashes? If so, did you master them in a reasonable amount of time? Are they worth the spike in my blood pressure? Am I too old a dog to learn this new-to-me trick? I would most seriously love your two cents (even if it is to tell me to simply step away from the eyelash glue.) on this girl talk topic.
Pretty please, help a girl out here.
(We will return to more regular-type blog posting tomorrow.)