The Icebreaker

      You remember that I joined Toastmasters, right? It's been several weeks since I joined. It's not so much just a club, but also a bit like a class.
  They send you a massive packet of stuff to study and you have speech assignments. I have learned so much (Like the fact that I say "Um" a lot) and the people in my club are fabulous. Every age- Gen X'ers to old timers, and they're all good speakers.They're all working to get even better.
    I have a mentor in the group. Her name is Ruth. She's easy to talk to and gives me great tips and advice. I really like her.
     It's a fun club, and I look forward to Thursdays, even though I am terrified that they might call on me to give a " Table topics " quick thinking two minute speech.
     It's actually a lot of work, learning to stop saying "Um" between words, and to be concise and not get off topic, and speak in front of people you don't know from Adam.
    Tomorrow I am giving my first "real" speech at Toastmasters. It's called an "Ice breaker" speech and it it's 4 to 6 minutes long, telling about yourself. Sounds easy. It's not.
     Anyway, it occurred to me that you might like to know a bit more about me, yourself. I mean, my background, in a 4 to 6 minute nutshell, which, by the way, is no easy task. (I had no idea I was so long winded till I wrote the speech and then had to scale it back)
So, get yourself a cuppa and have a seat. Here is my "Icebreaker". Oh, and you must have a title for your speeches,so here is mine:

The first in the series of "My not so ordinary life" -
I used to be June Cleaver, but I'm not sure who I am now

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests,

My drivers license says my name is Tracey Buxton.  I used to be June Cleaver, but I’m really not sure who I am now. I'd like to start off with a few trivial facts about myself-

I was born in San Francisco and raised in the bay area. According to the pictures of me, I don’t think I was the cutest baby on the block, but I do remember that I was a happy child.
I always did well in school, and was seriously the most sought after babysitter in east San Jose in the late 60’s.
I never had a date or a kiss till I was 17 and a half.
     High school graduation day came, and as was typical of the times, all of my girlfriends hoped and planned for jobs like teachers and legal secretaries or nurses. I not-so-secretly longed to get married, to “do crafts” and raise a massive brood of babies.
     Fast forward 2 years, during which time I dabbled in a few college classes, went to Beauty College to become a hairdresser, and finally, married my high school sweet heart.
     Fast forward another 6 years and 3 babies later. We couldn’t afford to buy a home in California, because every time we thought we had some down payment money we’d have another baby.
     My husband at the time was offered a transfer to Reno Nev-ah-da. "Absolutely not!" I said. I hadn’t been to Reno, but from what I knew, it was riddled with gambling casinos, and cat houses; certainly no place to raise our children. Well, my husband insisted that we simply must come take a look-see, after all it was a free weekend get away, and believe me, when you have 3 children under 4 and the words "free weekend getaway" are about as exciting as winning the lottery. So, we came and took a look.
     Wow. Real families lived here. Not a cathouse in sight. Heck, this place was as close to Mayberry as you could get! We returned home, he took the transfer, we bundled up our little family and moved away from the by now unaffordable bay area to Reno. We quickly learned to pronounce Nev-aaa-da and began life in paradise..
     *sigh* I was in my glory, living out my fantasy life as the June Cleaver of the biggest little city. I had it all, and I knew it. I was married to the man of my dreams. I had a house with 2 car garage a yard, 3 kids and a dog. I was the head room mother, decorating the house and having couple’s dinner parties. Aah, life was good.
    The years catapulted into decades and before I could blink twice, we were shopping for colleges for our third and last babe to leave the nest.
     I remember vividly, one morning in November of 2002, when that third baby was a senior in high school, it suddenly hit me. I was being forced into a mandatory retirement. Not retirement from motherhood entirely, because I think that’s actually illegal, but certainly from packing lunches and monitoring curfew times.
    I was headed for the proverbial empty nest stage of my life. It became clear to me that soon, it would be my dear hubby and I headed into the golden twilight years to sit on the porch in dueling rockers, and travel around all the national parks in a slow moving RV during summertime.
    I had a light bulb moment that day.. Clearly, it was time for me to get a j-o-b. A job OUTSIDE of my home.
    By the end of January 2003, I ended up after a long and painfully drawn out process with a real grown up girl job at EDAWN, the Economic Development Authority of Western Nevada (but that’s a whole other speech for another time)
    At the same time, I began a little home based craft business and later, a Blog online named "A cottage Industry", where I was able to dabble in a longtime passion of mine, creative writing, and share my crafty projects, along with entertaining, how to's and decorating tips.
    You know, they say things happen for a reason and it's true.
    Fast forward once again- A year ago on the last day of September, I came home to find myself suddenly single. Literally. Suddenly.
    Single, after nearly 30 years of what I had gravely mistaken for wedded bliss.
    Time stopped.
    After slowly coming to the realization that I wouldn’t be spending my golden years with that guy I thought was the man of my dreams, I found myself, along with my dogs, starting over at the mid century mark. Not at all how I had pictured myself spending my 50th birthday. After this shock wore off a bit, I realized just how grateful I was for this job.  I was also grateful for my family and friends, both here and throughout my Blog readership. They were my lifesavers, they encouraged me to move forward.
    It took a long while, but gradually I found my footing. Life returned. Slowly at first. Yes, it is different. Not better, not worse, just different.
    In the year that has past since then, I have had celebrated my five year anniversary at EDAWN (I celebrated with a pair of Jessica Simpson stiletto heels and lunch out with my coworkers)
    I've planned 3 weddings for my 3 children within the past 12 months. I continue to paint vintage furniture, recreate a home within my little cottage where I now live with my dogs and have coordinated a successful vintage craft fair.
    These days, I’m not sure if I am June Clever, Martha Stewart, Erma Bombeck, or possibly Bob Villa. What I am sure of is life goes on whether we’re having fun or not, and we’re all about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
    Thank you Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, that's the speech. I hope you feel like you know me just a little bit better!

Comments

[Amie]

I am a lurker- decided to delurk to say "hi!" and thank you for sharing all that. You have a lovely blog, I am enjoying it.
I hope you attain your dream farm. Amie

[Lizette]

That was great. You truly are a remarkable person. I am stuck in the three kids under 13 process, marriage of 20 years,room parent etc... lol......xoxoLizette p.s. you truly will be fine.

[Lisa S.]

Tracey,
Great speech! I especially like the last paragraph, good 'words to live by'!
You are such an inspiration.
Lisa S.

[michelleb.]

Wonderful. Oh what a spectacular journey you are on! And, never once (in the voice I give you) did I hear you say "ummm".

[Carol]

Excellent speech! Now "break a leg"! Not in those stilettos , of course!lol
Carol

[Andrea]

Thank you for sharing. My mom had a similar experience...we all sat there going, "What happened?" when Dad left. It makes me mad!

Anyway, you seem to be recovering better than my poor mom did, and good for you! Blessings as you give your speech. I hope it goes very well for you.

[The Sewing Queen]

One thing for sure. In the transition from June Clever, your God given creative talents have certainly blossomed. I'm sure this is just the beginning of a new wonderful and happy life that God has planned.

[Gail]

you go girl! great speech! Have you ever listened to Martha Stewart speak on her daily show? every other word is um...so, relax you will do great..even Martha has a hard time with it.

[senecamom]

Excellent- life in a nutshell amazes me with all the "stuff" that happens in between- all the things that make a life. One suggestion (unsolicited, I know!) is- don't say "trivial" - there is absolutely nothing trivial about things that make you who you are! Good luck!

[ACottageIndustry]

Thanks...very good point! I'll edit my speech before tomorrow!
Tracey

[Stef.]

Tarcey...Well done!!! Thank you for being transparent! I think so many of us women live parallel lives (at least of our generation)...I didn't get my first kiss until I was 19...and wedded bliss?! I too thought that existed...but at 50, soon to be empty-nested, I have discovered that to meld two lives together takes incredible work and committment, and you really cannot do it alone...and life does change...it can be great, good, or bad...all within 1 day!!! So, know that you are loved, and appreciated, and NOT ALONE!!! And that is why blog land, and your's especially, is so very precious and necessary..."it's a jungle out there"!

[Sher's Creative Expressions]

EXCELLENT Speech Tracey!! You've come a long away baby (never mind you younger readers. . . you won't "get-it!")

Blessings,

Sher

[sherri]

What a lovely, descriptive, and insightful speech. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. You cannot go wrong with speaking from the heart.

[Kathleen Grace]

Tracey, I applaud you, not only for joining toastmasters (I have panic attacks when I have to give a speech. It took me 20+ years to finish my degree because the only thing I still needed was a speech credit!) but for the creative life you lead and for sharing yourself with all of us. You really are an inspiration in so many ways:>)

[Pat]

I think your speech will be a hit. It is truthful, entertaining and hits home for many of us. You are an inspiration for and a testament to moving forward. (a tiny sidenote: dear hubby and "me", not "I" - you know, in case there is a grammar nut in the house!)

[Lacy]

you're awesome, Tracey!!!..really awesome...I'm sooo proud of you...I'm sure your kids are ,too...a true inspiration for everyone!!!...thanks for sharing..

[Kimberley]

Tracey~ Your quiet strenght is captivating! I love how your sense of humor helps you bring everything into perspective. I rather like that you are more like Martha S. than June. Another example of a strong, tenacious, I'm gonna get through this and come out on top no matter what woman! And your final words ring with a deafening truth...we are all about as happy as we make our minds up to be! Wish I knew you in real life, because I'm sure I would learn so much!!! Your speech will bring the house down! Good luck!

[Jilly]

Oh I LOVED that, and you have inspired me to look into Toastmasters here!

[Pam]

Tracey, so glad you shared your speech with us - it's very nice to know more about your life! Now good luck - you'll do GREAT!!

[Kristi]

That is a great speech. I have no doubt you will control your audience and will do great and feel that great sense on accomplishment!

[kathy]

It's a good thing we can't see our futures. I'm sure you never realized you'd have the ability to continue on and keep evolving. That's what makes life so interesting the people that keep learning and growing are truly the people that live. With each stage in your life look how much you have learned about yourself and life. People admire that even when you've been down you do what you have to do to continue on. Who knows who we'll even be in a few more years. Change kind of keeps things interesting don't you think? Lovely speech.

[Joyce]

It's touching and informative with a bit of whimsy - a great mix for holding folks' attention. Tell your story from the heart and you can't go wrong. And be glad your topic is something you're very familiar with... I believe we're exactly where we're supposed to be at exactly the time we're supposed to be there - as hard as it may be to accept and realize at the time... I'm looking forward to reading your updates and learning how things went for you. Best of luck!

[Dawn]

Tracey. It's WONDERFUL!!! I wouldn't change a thing. Not at all....it was so neat to read more about you, too!! You go girl, if anybody can succeed in this Toastmaster's Club, you can ~ xxoo, Dawn

[Mockingbird Hill]

Interesting, heartwarming and tells more about you than you may know! Congratulations on stepping outside of the box..one more time.

Good Luck and remember to have fun ;)

Cassie

[Laurie]

Bravo Tracey! It has to be great to see this in writing and know that in spite of everything, you've made the best of your life and yourself. My pastor always says in his sermons, being happy is a choice...amen.

[heartartz]

GREAT speech!
Albert Schweitzer said "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
You are happy so you can't miss to also succeed!

[Mary Jane Smith]

Tracey ... Wonderful speech! Thanks for sharing about yourself. Sure wished you still lived in the Bay Area though (where I am!) so that I could go to one of your Tumbleweed Cotillions ... but maybe I will make it up there for one sometime! Good luck with your speech tomorrow!
~~Mary Jane~~

[Lizette]

Tracey, one more quote that you remind me of (even though you are not ordinary)
Success is doing ordinary things, extraordinarily well....John Rohn

[kristy]

Tracey,

Can you hear the standing ovation I'm giving from Florida???

Well done........and you've certainly inspired me. Please continue to share yourself with us!

Love,
Kristy

[Megan]

Great Speech!

What a life. I feel like I could see through all the little blanks, a picture into your life... thanks

[Bride-to-be]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! I love it!

[jennifer gordon]

I love it! We're all so proud of you...not only for Toastmasters, but for moving on, loving what you do and have, and for being determined! You go girl! Oh and good luck with your speech - you'll do just fine!

Smiles,
Jennifer

[Courtney - Nesting Instincts]

Now I wish I could be a fly on the wall and listen in while you give your speech! You are definitely gifted and I'm proud of you (though I don't know you) for the way you've created "beauty out of ashes". I am secretly rooting for you and your farmhouse dream too!

[Mary]

Reading your blog is like a lighthouse for me on stormy days when I can't see through the fog. It reminds me to feed my dreams. Thank you for sharing your life, creativity and inspiration!

[Sherry]

wow. you're GOOD!

i loved reading your brief biography ... and i also love the direction in life you're moving.

((( tender hug )))

[Nan]

I left you something on my blog - because you're such a great read!! Thanks for inpriring me! Nan...now quick, go check it out at www.potsandpins.com

[Vanessa]

Tracey, you are such an inspiration! I so love your blog! You made a great speech! Very engaging and informative. You will do great when you stand up there for its delivery! Life truly is like a box of chocolates isn't it? Vanessa

[Jill]

I think it's wonderful!

[DivaDeb]

You're Wonder Woman, silly...... ;o)

[Jeanne Hill]

Tracey:

I recently came across your blog and I immediately became addicted! You provide so much inspiration, and really you remind us all to take pleasure in the "small" things.

Your speech is perfect...informative and entertaining. I wish I could be there to hear it in person!

Jeanne

[Pam]

Wonderful speech; you are an inspiration.
(Another standing ovation!)

[Nancy]

Your audience will love the captivating way you have put together your love, for them. You are truely an inspiration to those who share a few minutes each day reading your blog. I've recently found your blog and love every minute I spend browsing through your posts. Thanks again. Nancy

[Nancy]

Just a small correction to the previous post.
"Your audience will love the captivating way you have put together your love, for them. I meant to type "the way you have put your together your "LIFE", for them.

[Tracy]

I was really inspired!!!!

[Laura]

Great job at condensing life into a nutshell! That's hard to do sometimes - not getting bogged down in the details. It was very informative AND so engaging. Bravo!! Can't wait to hear how it goes.

[Donna]

Tracey I too am a lurker who had to come out of the closet!! That is a truly wonderful speech. I look forwards to returning home from work each day to read your blog you really are an inspiration to us all thankyou.

[Donna]

Tracey I too am a lurker who had to come out of the closet!! That is a truly wonderful speech. I look forwards to returning home from work each day to read your blog you really are an inspiration to us all thankyou.

[Donna]

Tracey I too am a lurker who had to come out of the closet!! That is a truly wonderful speech. I look forwards to returning home from work each day to read your blog you really are an inspiration to us all thankyou.

[Lisa]

Hi Tracey! I've been a reader of your blog for a few months and I have to comment on this post. You totally rock! Absolutely, completely. I am truly in awe of how you have not only survived, but flourished since becoming instantly single. I am completely inept (panic attack level) at public speaking and envy people who take it in stride. Your speech is perfect - enjoy delivering it!

[Christa]

I am so proud of you! Great job. You are so creative and inspirational, even in your writing! May ALL your dreams come true!
Cyber-hug :)