I wasn't expecting it. I mean, not yesterday.
Of course I knew it was coming, and I wanted it to be over, to be final, so I could move on the way he did the day he left me late last September, without so much as a note of explanation, just a half empty closet and three one hundred dollar bills on the kitchen counter.
Realizing that the person who promised to be faithful, to love and cherish me all the days of my life, doesn't, is a pretty hard pill to swallow. All of that history; celebrating anniversaries, new babies, and graduations has a profoundly sad feel to it, looking back. Wondering when the exact moment was that he stopped loving us, or if in fact, he ever did.
I thought yesterday was just another 'waste some time and money" appointment, but when we were finally done, after nearly three hours, it was officially over.
I had tried many times to imagine what this day would be like, but never could quite picture it. I thought I'd be relieved, but instead, my heart broke into a million pieces all. over. again.
I feel so lost. What do I do now? Even after all these months, I still do not know where, or how to go on from here.
August 14, 2007, I became legally divorced.
I sure didn't see that coming a year ago.