Nesting continues...and a very heart felt thank you.

      I am moving right along on the Easter dinner table plans. Last night I got the little nests all dolled up to go with everyone's place settings. I think these will go nicely with my Grandma's china. I love these dishes and don't use them nearly often enough.
    I had plans to finish up the place cards and menu cards as well last night, but I just couldn't quite get motivated to get them done. Yesterday, my mind and heart were else ware. You see, it was exactly six months ago as of yesterday, that I became suddenly single. My step mom told me not too long ago to keep hanging in there, that the first six months were very hard, but after that, I'd be home free. (She had been through something very similar years ago, before she met my Dad)  I think I have been subconsciously clinging to this statement without realizing it, because last night I just couldn't think of anything else.
    "OK God, it is now exactly six months, and I am ready to feel like a whole person again. I am ready to feel all the way like my old self, to not feel so driven to keep ferociously busy until way into the night when I feel like will fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I am ready to be able to actually sleep all through the night. Helllllo!? It has been the magical six months and I want things back to normal!Do you hear me God? I think my character has been built up quite enough, don't you?"
    But I am clearly not the one in control here. I do not feel like the old me. (Why does this have to take so long?)  Maybe this is going to take me six months and six days, maybe six years. I just don't know. It is out of my hands,and I need to keep keepin' the faith and trusting, I know. But, I have a tiny part of me that is terrified that I will never again feel all the way like the old me.
    The reason I am sharing this with you, is that I want to thank you. Thank you oh so very, very much, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your kind, encouraging posts on my blog.You could not possibly have any idea how good your words make me feel. This Blog has turned out to be a therapy of sorts for me- something so positive and so good, and knowing people see any small amount of value in it actually surprises me, and I am hugely flattered. I check my emails all day long from work, to read the comments and emails, and it always brings a smile to my face and makes my heart swell up.
   I don't know what is around the corner for me, or when I will feel all the way like my old self. Maybe she is gone forever, and there will continue to be a new, different me, evolving all the time. I just want you all to know that you have played a part in helping me keep moving forward, and remembering to focus on all that is good and right and how blessed I am. Thank you. so. very. much.

Comments

[Jessica]

((hugs))

[clarice]

Tracey, I am not sure you will ever be able to be the old you agin. BUT I know you will be a new, better, happier you !!!
He has plans for you !!
Love Clarice

[Crystal]

Thank-you, for all you share in your blog. :0)
You are so wonderful,and caring it comes across in all you do, doing so much for your family to make Easter dinner special. Maybe the reason you don't feel the same is because you are even better than before. Even though it still has to be hard. You have moved on with such grace to inspire us all. Thank-you Tracey.:)

[Lucinda]

It's us who should thank you! Your posts are so inspirational. A lady with so much grace and style is headed for bliss. You put out such a positive spirit in the world...that will come back to you. Have you ever heard Paula Deen's story on how she met her husband. She prayed for someone to come into her life and this charming man moved in next door to her.
It can and will happen.
Celebrate your milestone...treat yourself. Go out with some girlfriends make your day!

[HeatherJ]

Tracey, you are a wonderful, generous person and I'm glad I found your blog. It is painful for us to move out of our comfort zone, but some time soon you will be in the comfort zone again with the new person you have become. It sounds like you have grown a lot in the past 6 months. Blessings you to! p.s. visit my blog to see what you have inspired with your linen closet picture. :-)

[cindy]

I feel for you, I been through that too. As every day passes you will feel better. I'm sure you feel better now than 5 months ago, right? I've been single now 7 years, (by choice because I have my daughter full time) and I can honestly say that I am happier now than when I was married and I have felt that way for quite awhile now. Everyone told me time would heal the pain and I never believed them at the time but they were right. I'm sure it will for you too.

[heartartz]

Tracey
Thank you for being the you that you are!
You sum it all up best in your last paragraph...your old self is gone forever, and there will continue to be a new, different you, evolving all the time.
But you are a better you.
You have had new lessons to learn and many more in the future too. They have been and may be painful.
But you are here!
Keep moving forward, focus on the good, the true and the beautiful.
You ARE blessed and you are a blessing!
Easter and your eggs signify a new beginning. Embrace this significance.

[Cindy]

I couldn't be more proud of you and all of your accomplishments. Hang in there!

[Becky H]

do you know how much we all look forward to your post? you inspire us. I think you have groupies! love your Grandmas china. my cooking might even taste good on those plates. the best is yet to come ms. doer

[Dori]

Tracey, dear heart, you are never going to be the "old me", but you are becoming a wonderful, stronger and deeper "new me." Continue to take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You are an inspiration!

[Francie]

Sometimes we have to grieve not for what we had, but what we thought we had or what we wanted it to be...(and of course it turned out not to be) you don't really want to be the old you if you really think about it. I'm thinking that the new you is one terrific lady and I like her a lot.

[Michelle Fox]

A new "you" is around the corner but it will take time. I guarantee you that it will come and that you will learn from all of the heartache. I don't believe you can put a timeframe on it. I know for me... my mom just said that one day I would suddenly wake up and just feel better when the time was right, when God saw that the time was right and when I was ready. I said but I am ready, NOW! Apparently, I wasn't because it took quite awhile longer but sure enough it happened just as she said, and it seemed like overnight, I became comfortable in my new skin and my new life.. and you will too. You are a dear heart, and it will happen for you too... take it nice and slow and have faith, in yourself.

[Diana]

Hi
This has been the most awesome blog I have been on! You are an inspiration for me to continue my shoppe...I will find a way to get things happening again here. Thank you so very much...Keep your chin up girl...you are amazing!

[Loretta]

Your Easter plans and table settings are darling! Anyone with such a bright enthusiasm for life will never stay down for long. Happy Spring!

[Kim]

I've never been divorced, so I couldn't possibly know what you are going & have gone through. However, I've had (more than) my share of difficulties through the years & know that I'm never quite the same afterwards. But, I think that I'm a more interesting person and a more confident person because I can look back & say "wow, I went through that & look how I survived & thrived!!". I think that you are thriving more & more every day.

By the way, love your blog, babe :)

[Meg Casey]

Hi, I just wanted to urge you NOT to try or want to be the old you. Change is part of life and my prayer is for you to eagerly seek the today you that is preparing for the future you. Just keep growing, girl! You are loved, valuable and preacious. What somebody says - good or bad--about you, or does to you does not dictate your value. I love what you are doing here and appreciate your generous heart. Of course you need to grieve but when it's oooovah you will be stronger and have no doubt that you are special and have a purpose in life.
I look forward to your next "adventure" [you're on my favorite list -- not all that many there :>)]
be blessed,
Miss Meg

[Joan]

How can I not echo all those who have already written? I would expect that you are different now--by that I mean "better" just as others have said. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." (Why you're a Steel Magnolia!)

[Dawn Edmonson]

I so enjoy checking in on your blog daily! You are such a talented person ~ I love to see all the amazing things you've created. You seem like such a sweetie, continue to take care of yourself and remember you, and you alone are responsible for your happiness ~ make it yours!! Keep posting . . . we'll keep watching :)

[Daisy Cottage]

((hugs))
YOU have been a blessing to us.
Keep taking it a day at at time..
xo,
Kim

[DIANE]

Tracey just want to add how awesome I think you are and how lucky your family is to have you at the helm. Can't you just see yourself looking back years from now maybe with someone new who apprecites you like we do and being so so proud of yourself. Oh what a feeling. I've been there first husband died after 5 yrs of marriage and my love from age of 15!! we had just put up our Christmas tree found him the next morning Dec 5 1974 and now here I am happily married again But know in my heart I can survive on my own if need be "Oh what a feeling" thx for being there for all of us